you know what makes everything better?

cookies for breakfast.

totally makes everything better.

you should try it.

what does not make anything better is slicing your leg open in the shower and trying not to scream expletives since it’s only 7:24 in the morning and people are sleeping. and no one wants to be the crazy naked screaming lady that early.

i was shaving, by the way. i’m not so shower-inept that i just injure myself while loofahing.

that would be both impressive and ridiculous.

also, i keep nearly getting hit by buses on my road and i REALLY want to yell at someone about it, but i’m pretty sure it’s just because i never expect a school bus on my road in the summer.

i came very close to mowing down a herd of high schoolers this morning, too. they’re all attending various summer camps, and since i drive past half the dorms at uva on my way to work, i always see them tromping off to whatever they’re supposed to do that day. today was apparently “don’t obey crosswalk rules” monday for this bunch. light? green. crosswalk sign? little DON’T WALK, YOU’LL DIE hand. tess? not expecting idiot children to charge into the crosswalk.

don’t worry. i wasn’t that close to hitting them. and i would have stopped! i’m a good person. i would totally check on someone if i ran them over with my car.

so, to recap my morning: bleeding, near-death-by-bus, near-murder-by-me, COOKIES.

yeah, monday is off to a rockin’ start.

love

me

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