dreams influenced by media are terrifying

last night my dream went something like this:

i was a character in Game of Thrones (but not a character so much as, GOT was totally real, and i was a lesser nobleman’s daughter). my father was trying to marry me off to someone horrible, and i kept telling them that i had a boyfriend, and we weren’t getting married just now, but could you PLEASE not marry me off? then somehow, dream-GOT-tess and dream-GOT-tess’-boyfriend decided to have a baby because that…made sense. so i went to the barnes and noble (that naturally exists in Westeros) and was wandering around the “how to get pregnant” aisle, which was where all these books for kids were, and it was very worrisome that the publishing houses decided to market fertility guides for children. and i kept worrying that i wasn’t getting pregnant, but then realized that i just had to take birth control a different way, and i’d totally be with child. obviously. and then someone got poisoned by an assassin, and the dream ended with my realizing i was about to die as well.

granted, my dream ended with me waking up at around 2:30 in the morning in a dead panic. pregnancy dreams are freaking terrifying.


luckily, i was a psychology major in college, so i’m highly qualified as a dream interpreter. let me make you a list.

(1) at dinner my roommate mentioned that everyone he knows is getting married. so my brain decided to incorporate that.

(2) this entire weekend, whenever the manfriend asked what i was thinking, the honest answer was “uh…i’m thinking about a chapter in a dance with dragons”. over-analyzing a book will apparently throw you into that book’s world come nighttime.

(3) i’m used to my body being pretty normal, health-wise, so when i had a wonky moment a few days ago, i turned to the internet (instead of calling my mom, who is a nurse. or asking my doctor, who is a doctor, and knows how to calm me down). turns out, you can google any medical symptom, and so long as you include the word “female” in your search terms, the results include “pregnancy”, because apparently when you’re pregnant, you share symptoms with every disease on the planet.

so, a combination of self-diagnosis via the internet and being overly obsessed with a book…and dream-tess wanders the how to get pregnant section of a dream-bookstore. weird.

i emailed my doctor, in case you were curious,  regarding my system being grumpy, and her solution was that i need to lay off the coffee and alcohol for a week to reset my system. seriously. i may die this week.