self-improvement, the 80s prom dress, and cookies

my original halloween costume idea was this:

then somehow, i changed my mind. and my costume is now similar to:

80s prom! DUDE. i can stick to my childhood tradition of being a princess every year (with the sole exceptions being the year i went as mary poppins for a school parade, and the year i went as a witch, convinced my mom to let me spray my hair black, and spent the ENTIRE evening suffocating under a chemical cloud of doom from whatever they put in temporary hair dye in a can). i can make my hair big. i can do big makeup. BIG BIG BIG. prom dress has been acquired, it fits like a dream, but is SO astoundingly tacky that i can’t take too much pride in the fit.

anyhow. i also decided to start whitening my teeth today – coffee addiction and a love of red wind? not kind to the chompers. the local grocery store had a sale on some kind of Hardcore Whitening Like Whoa system, so i’m using that. 30 minutes a day. every day. i just stick these peroxide-infused strips on my teeth and sit around doing very little. or in my case:

try on a new dress

realize it doesn’t fit

call the store to get an exchange

pack up dress

leave by mailbox

SO PRODUCTIVE, right? well, the phone call to the store for the exchange sounded loony, since i can’t speak properly with things adhered to my teeth. i’ve always thought i pronounced some words (mostly plurals) a bit wonky because i have a bit of a gap between my front teeth, but the whitening strips have convinced me that if i had ‘perfect’ teeth, i would sound weirder. i see no difference in my teeth yet, but MAN, if you EVER want to know what you’d look like foaming at the mouth, look in the mirror after taking whitening strips off. dang. that is not normal. i didn’t foam, really, but my teeth had the peroxide residue on them and looked…not right. yeeuck.

but you know. the 80s prom queen needs a nice smile.

UPDATED: i have no idea what i was going to write about cookies