happy birthday to my soulmate/bestfriend/roommate-for-all-eternity

okay so. first off. i love my boyfriend, but today is not his birthday. today is my all-time-most-favorite person’s birthday. whitney. whitness. whitnastafarian. (we did nicknames a lot in college. everyone experiments, okay?). she was born 26 glorious years ago (omg whit i just wrote 36. i swear to pants i didn’t do that on purpose). then 18 years later, aka 8 years ago, aka holy lord we are old ladies now, the housing department at our university decided, based on the most arbitrary questionnaires EVER, that we belonged together.

let me relay for you our first ever phone call. before meeting.

or at least, my thoughts.

OH MY GOD IS SHE A CHILD PRODIGY? CRAP. (to clarify, my favorite person has a delightfully young-sounding voice. and i thought she was either 12 or a cheerleader, and she thought i was a party animal, and i think we both approached that humid summer day with a bit of trepidation.

but 24 hours after meeting, and at least one homesick breakdown, and a combined sense of looming ohmygod, it was pretty blindingly obvious that we were soul mates. seriously.

here’s what we’ve survived: fights with various people on the phone,  fights with certain people in our suite, 3 am anger-fits over the entire basketball team in our bathroom, SATC/the hills marathons, getting all giddy over a first kiss (and later, comfort over a first break-up), the sheer panic of rushing sororities as second year students, the excitement of Our First Apartment, my first experience with gin bucket (thanks for not letting me get arrested, seriously), the massive crush on the boy upstairs (followed by the statement “wait. he picked MARIO CART OVER YOU? idiot. let’s watch love actually“), the hot mess that was your 21st, followed by mine (but for a totally different reason), tennis class (coach k. good lord.), graduation (um, the cake said “congratulation”. win.), HAVING TO LOSE YOU TO FREAKING NEW ORLEANS (but it’s okay, i still love you), going to the first SATC movie and drinking chipotle margaritas (ew) on our last day together…ugh. and now you’re going to grad school! and i AM SUCH A PROUD MAMA.

obviously there are SO MANY MORE memories because we’ve been friends since 2004 (holy pants). some of them are less appro for the internet. but know this, whit. you? are the sister i never had. happy freaking birthday. i owe you a night of champagne and love actually the next time i see you.

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