first day of school

YAY. also, ACK.

here are my thoughts this early morning

1. i want the kids to like me, which is shallow but honest

2. i want my teacher to be proud of me

3. i feel like this is redemption for my own elementary school experience, of which i have only a handful of fond memories and a small warehouse full of miserable ones. i want to help a student who is like Elementary Aged Tess was – painfully shy, stuck in a book, not many friends, and preferably sporting giant glasses. i want them to see that it all turns out okay – that the kids who aren’t nice (seriously, i was told by some exceptional jerks that i was going to hell – where dragons would eat me – when i was about 7. WHAT IS THAT) can’t actually ruin your life. that there are teachers who LOVE the book-loving kids, the socially panicky ones. the quiet ones. that those kids are just as f*cking amazing as the “popular kids” who are outgoing and charming and ridiculously confident (and that’s pretty awesome to witness). i want to show every student i meet that who they are is full of promise and light and hope, and that i want only the best for them, no matter what the world throws at them. i love them all and i haven’t even worked with any of them.

4. i want to not be awake before the sun. that is ridiculous

there will be a longer post later on how today goes. i am sorry for being MIA lately – just trying to stay afloat, and sometimes this blog slips away from my mind.