day two: oof
two meltdowns by 10 am
bad shoe choice
bug bites ALL OVER my legs. not school related, i think
and all the sadness i’ve been hiding about the lives of a couple of my kiddos…it hit me at once. like, got home, called my best friend (who taught for four years and is AWESOME), and just let it all out. while eating cake with a spoon. and i did the same to one of my roommates. and to my parents over dinner. and i will probably lay it all out for my boyfriend (sorry, honey, you’re going to have the distinct honor of being “person who tess cries to”). and i crawled into the bathtub for 20 minutes, ran the water so hot that everything was fogged up, drank a glass of red wine, and read the first three parts of gone girl. and cried.
hello. emotions. good times.
i can do this. it’s just really f*cking hard. so if someone says that teaching is for those who can’t do, tell them that’s false. that it’s for those who really can do. we care so much about these kids. we are with them nearly 7 hours a day. we get them ready for a world that is often really goddamn cruel. and we provide them with structure when a lot of them go home to nothing resembling structure. we do. all the time. so spare me the nonsense. i’m too tired and invested in this now.