whole 30: uh, no

so in all my research on this thing, i read a lot about how you’d be kind of cranky but how that’s really your brain in withdrawal from your carb and sugar addiction.

i made it till 6:03 pm this evening. and then i felt the primal urge to rip off the heads of my dear friends, who were just there when i was feeling typical anxiety about being late for class. but that typical anxiety was amplified by a number that doesn’t exist, it’s so big.

so. i thought it through. and yeah, part of this is probably due to it being rainy and cold and my shoes being SOAKED all the way through. but. i am not sure that everyone who preached this challenge was being honest. maybe for them, it works to go through a few days of being hideously nasty to everyone around you, but not for me. i like my friends, and i do not like the emotions i am currently feeling. i think maybe this is too extreme a thing for me, for sure.

that being said: i quit.

it’s been two days of eating what the challenge writers recommended. it’s made me think of different meals to plan, and i am sure i’d lose loads of weight (which…i don’t want or need to do), and maybe this really does reset the body and such, but it’s not how i want to reset my body. i want to reboot my eating AND eat some damn chocolate.

so this is the new plan, inspired by the whole 30 idea. limit myself to two sugary treats a week (the idea being, make those treats really spectacular), drink alcohol only on saturdays, and actively work to find healthy meals that do not revolve around pasta or bread.

i’d like to feel bad about quitting, but i’m a grown-ass woman, and you know what, folks? if you aren’t happy with something, do something else. some stuff you shouldn’t quit: exercise, being nice to people, wearing pants in public. but some things you SHOULD leave behind: quit smoking, quit hard drugs, quit eating puppies for breakfast, but also? quit the diet that makes you want to punch babies and yell at your friends.