the post-grad school round-up/breakdown

wait, not a breakdown like when that diamond commercial combined forces with my hormones in my last year of college and i was sobbing into my teddy bear that i was going to die alone. i mean a breakdown like when you break down a whole thing into parts and overanalyze them in a way that speaks to your inner control freak and makes everyone else sigh.

um, also, my title is a lie, i’m not actually going to go over EVERYTHING right now. this is more me muddling through exactly how much i need to say to y’all about grad school. i mean. it was not perfect, by a long shot. but that’s not to say i hated it. it just means that, in life, pretty much nothing is perfect. relationships of any kind, jobs, mundane things and big delightfully scary things too – none of those pieces of life ever go perfectly. and i’m kind of realizing, as i grow up, that life is messy and sometimes that’s cool, and sometimes that’s not cool, and you have to learn to roll with it. get messy. but not so messy that you run something good. just be comfortable with the simple truth that nothing will ever go exactly as you imagine or hope or plan. and because that is how life is, that is just normal.

OKAY. anyhoo. what i want to say here is that i have lots of thoughts about the past two years, and i don’t know what to do with them just yet. i’m envisioning a recap of sorts? but i need to be further away from it before i start dissecting the experience.

right now i’m in my usual post-semester phase of “ooh, let’s revamp my life” and then realizing that grad school means no savings and so it has to be a free revamp. this morning i was going to give up coffee but then i accidentally drank an entire pot of it. i did go grocery shopping and buy lots of green things. and my lunch right now is ALL vegetables, but it’s also some feta cheese and olives (what are olives, anyway? fruit? vegetables?) and so…it’s healthy-ish. i’m TRYING, okay? and i’m training for this half-marathon, you may have heard, so i basically want to eat all the time. but i like to do a reboot of things from time to time, and usually after the semester ends, i realize i overdid it on coffee, sugar, bread, and wine (my favorites) and so i try to wean myself of those things for a bit. not forever. don’t be silly. but this week i’m trying to get my brain addicted to vegetables and hoping i forget how much i love pasta.

uh. yeah. i should change the post title to something more accurate, like “hey, here are my thoughts in no particular order”. let’s end in style, with a video that made me have very grown thoughts about john krasinski. oof.