virgin viewing: Lost (pilot, part one)

okay, honestly, i have seen some of Lost, but it’s been so long that i remember like, two names, and i know there is an island with a polar bear. so, this summer, i’m going to watch this show, pretty much for the first time, with my reactions and opinions and thoughts as a virgin viewer.


i’m starting with the pilot, which is in two parts, and the first part is in this post, and then the second part later

pilot, part 1

i feel pretty confident in saying that, if i woke up flat on my back in the middle of a forest, i would be panicking a lot more than Jack does here. my survival skills are lacking, is what i’m saying. and if i pulled a tiny bottle of booze out of my jacket, i would  (a) be impressed it wasn’t broken and (b) drink up, because if i woke up in a bamboo forest, i’d be in need of liquid courage.

does the white shoe hanging in the bamboo mean something other than “a plane crashed and lots of things in the air came down, including this shoe”?

there is a man dangling upside down in the body of the plane, and wiggling, so we know he’s alive, and no one is helping him, and this worries me.

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see? in camo? right past Concerned Jack?

you know what i’d be getting the eff away from? the giant propeller that is clearly unstable and about to explode.

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no, clearly? this is going to be a problem.

one thought: at least the plane picked a beautiful beach. we see people running about screaming for loved ones, and then we get this chick, who i suspect shares my survival strategy of Stand and Scream in Panic.

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yep. stand and scream, sister. this would be my move, too.

Jack finally helps someone – a guy trapped under metal, who has a very bleedy leg – and we see why it’s important to wear ties, because you never know when you may need to stop someone from bleeding to death on a beach. THEN. holy crap. the pregnant girl! i vaguely remember her. while Jack is assessing her deal, the thing i said would go kablooey goes kablooey (after a guy gets sucked into the propeller, which is a terrible way to go).

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shortly after this, Jack basically tackles the pregnant chick into the sand. ow.

then, Jack sees Damon from The Vampire Diaries “performing” CPR on a woman, which, apparently, he is doing all wrong, so Jack steps in to fix this situation. here, Damon recommends performing a tracheotomy with a pen on a woman who, for all we can tell, is just passed out.

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worst. idea. ever.

Jack clearly thinks this kid is a moron, so sends him off to find a pen. Jack saves the woman, then sees that a section of plane is about to pancake the pregnant girl and Hurley (i remember him from what i’ve seen, and also he’s keeping an eye on this girl), so takes off, at which point i am EXTREMELY anxious because running in sand is not easy and what if he doesn’t make it?? spoiler: they do. pieces of exploding plane go flying all over, and one lands perilously close to this scruffy dude (Charlie? i think?), and i dig his low-key “oh, hey, flaming death” response.

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Jack leaves Hurley and the pregnant girl in the sand, and goes off on a walk through the wreckage while extras run back and forth in slow motion and violin music plays hauntingly. also, serious blurry camera lens here. he looks into the plane wreckage, and looks pained, and i have to assume there are a lot of dead folks in there. i’d be throwing up. he receives a large number of pens from Damon from TVD:

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so many pens! so many trachs!

at first, i thought he was looking for antibiotics and drugs in people’s luggage when he starts going through someone’s bag, but then i realize…it’s a sewing kit. he’s probably not going to whip up a dress, right? he’s going to sew somebody up? maybe the bleedy dude from earlier? AUGH. false. Jack is super bleedy. oh, honey, that must hurt like mad. Kate rolls up, rubbing her wrist (is she hurt? or did she lose something?)

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my hair never looks this good. maybe a deserted island is the trick.

Jack asks her to stitch him up – ow, ow, ow – and she agrees, and he uses tiny booze bottle to disinfect her hands and his wound (OW), and we also learn that he is a doctor of some type. THEN. super important. we meet Sawyer (okay, clearly i know the main players, i don’t live under a rock), and he is all jawline and brooding.

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hello, gorgeous

we see folks doing this: pregnant girl staring at the ocean, Hurley stacking meals, John Locke sitting and looking at the ocean, Damon from TVD trying to us his cell phone (i doubt you get service there), and Sayid and Charlie building a big fire. the woman Jack saved earlier is kissing a wedding ring and looking woeful.

Kate proves that she is part of my Survival Fail Gang when she tells Jack she might throw up on him. y’all. i would pass out before successfully stitching someone up. Jack “comforts” her by telling a horrible surgery story about a girl’s nerves “spilling out of her like angel hair pasta” (is that what nerves are like?), and letting fear take over for a little before he took back control.

by the fire, Charlie writes “fate” on his knuckle bandages (DRAMATIC), and Sayid worries that no one has come for them (oh, Sayid. i think i have bad news for you). Damon from TVD sits down beside Shannon (i think she was Screaming Girl earlier) and offers her chocolate, which she turns down, so i hate her. Hurley brings food to the pregnant girl (WHY CAN’T I REMEMBER HER NAME?), and we see Michael and his son Walt, as well as Sun and Jin.

Jack inspects some guy who was sitting by Kate – he has metal poking out of his ribcage, which is bad. Jack then mansplains to Kate how the plane crashed – “we hit an air pocket”, he tells her – um, i think it was more than that. she remembers the plane breaking into parts (they were in the middle part, apparently). Jack tells her he took flying lessons once (is this important? i don’t know.), and they discuss going to find the cockpit. while they’re chatting, some horrendous roaring crashing noise comes from the forest – okay, someone panic, right? Walt asks if that was Vincent – kiddo, i don’t think Vincent makes that much noise, unless he’s a dragon. the thing keeps crashing about, knocking over trees and making a foghorn noise (wtf), and everybody looks deeply concerned.

after the break, we’re on the plane again, as turbulence strikes – and Charlie has just darted to the bathroom with three flight attendants chasing after him.

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this is everyone’s reaction to turbulence

right after Jack reassures the woman next to him (who is the woman he later saves with CPR) that this is normal, the plane/gravity decide to laugh in his face, and some dude behind them goes flying up into the air, then crashes down with all the luggage – terrible doors on those carry-on storage lockers, yo.

then! we’re back on the beach! everyone is freaking out about That Noise From Last Night. Kate and Jack are going off towards the smoke she says she saw the day before – where the cockpit may be – but first, she has to take (really nice) hiking boots off a corpse.

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this is his “i see you taking dead man’s shoes” face

she sees locke watching her, and i sort of love him for trying to make her smile.

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followed by the “oh, is this not the time for the orange-peel-smile joke?” face

Hurley suggests to the group that they do something about the “b-o-d-y-s” (he spells this out so Walt won’t know what he’s talking about, which is adorable and funny). Walt promptly corrects his spelling, which, this kid is awesome. Jack tells Boone (Damon to me) to watch over the wounded, and Charlie offers to come along for the cockpit hunt. as they set off walking, Kate asks Charlie if they’ve ever met – odds are, yes, given that this show is all convoluted. he then starts singing his band’s song (his band is Driveshaft), and i like to think this is when the actors fell in love (they dated for a bit). they keep moving (through the tallest field ever), it starts pouring, and poor Charlie is like, this place is the worst.

on the beach, the noise and movement is heard again in the woods. eek.

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mm, this surely will be gross, right?

the Terrific Three find the cockpit! the music is super ominous. are there zombies on this show? this is zombie music. they head in – and up, because the cockpit is at a serious angle – and this is why upper body strength is important, kids. the door is, naturally, locked, so Jack smashes it open with a fire extinguisher. THIS MUSIC. I SWEAR. aaaand a freaking body goes flying out of the cockpit. i’d faint. they start looking for the transceiver (where did Charlie go, btw?), and then the pilot gasps awake, because of course he’s not dead.

awkwardly trying to save a life

awkwardly trying to save a life

the pilot tells them that 6 hours into the flight, his radio went out, and no one could see the plane – they tried to land in Fiji, but when they hit turbulence, they were at least 1000 miles off course – so wherever the rescue mission is looking, it’s not where they are. also, the transceiver doesn’t work. of course not. Kate goes to find Charlie, who pops out of the bathroom (oh. oh no. that’s where he was going when the plane hit turbulence. something fishy, y’all). right as Kate asks what’s going on, they hear the crashing and noise again. everyone is trying to see what’s going on, when the pilot STUPIDLY sticks his head out of a broken window – worst idea? worst idea. he gets got, basically. and blood goes all over the window. the cockpit drops to the earth, and Jack grabs the transceiver before they get the eff out of there. Charlie trips and gets stuck in vines, and Jack goes back to save him, and either Kate is a colossal bitch who heard him yell and kept going, or she just can’t hear him scream. she ends up in a bamboo grove, sobbing in the rain, and counting to five (like Jack suggested you do with fear). geesh. this show.

Charlie appears without announcing himself (not cool), and says that he and Jack got separated. they go back to look for him, with Charlie grumping that Kate was yelling for Jack and not Charlie, when they stumble across the pilot’s pin.

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oh, that’s no good

the pilot’s body is up in a freaking tree – which Jack informs them as he pops up out of nowhere – and part one ends with Charlie wondering how exactly something like that happens.

final thoughts

okay. this show? is like crack. if i didn’t have other things to do with my day, i’d basically watch the entire first season in one sitting. in lieu of that, i’m going to say this: i think this is probably a show i’d have to watch a few times over to get all the threads woven throughout it. i know that flashbacks happen later on, and i’m dying to know more about each character. and also, more shirtless Jack, please. and more Sawyer.