on slowing down

i’m categorizing this as a running thing, but it applies to so many other parts of life that it could easily be anywhere on my blog.

i have fallen off my running wagon, y’all. i’m working slowly to get back to where i was – and life keeps getting in the way. i plan to run sunday, wednesday, and fridays – and then i’m at work really late, or at least don’t get home until after it’s dark (so, you know, 4:30). i have been yoga-ing on my own twice a week, and am looking at the classes offered at the studio down the street (if any of my Bloomingdale friends want to join me for an evening class, let me know!). i went for a run yesterday in my new shoes, and it wasn’t the greatest. a few reasons for that. one, i turned my ankle on the run, so ended up having to stop running half a mile from home and walk the rest of the way (so i ran 3 miles total, and walked half a mile). two, i got hit on by a creepy dude, which is just not cool. and three, i ran too fast. my first mile was a 9:12 – which, y’know, is respectable, but meant that my next two miles were wheezy and slow and painful.

slowing down when i run is something i worked so, so hard to be aware of when i was in full training mode. it’s disappointing to realize that i need to retrain my brain and body on this – that it’s not something that just comes naturally to me now. i think part of it is that, when i was good about slowing my pace down, i was able to organically speed up my pace – and keep that sped-up pace throughout a run. slowing down let me learn how to be faster. and so my brain is used to my faster-because-i-went-slower pace, and thinks i can just jump in there. and i cannot. and i hate realizing that.

so i will keep working on it. and forcing myself to slow down, because i really need to. otherwise my runs will be shorter than i want, slower than i want, and more miserable. and running is a great therapy – yesterday was a gorgeous day, and there was a high that came from running along streets paved with golden and red leaves, breathing in crisp air, and being under a brilliantly blue sky. and after an exceptionally crappy friday, it was really good to just move, and not focus on the sadness at the end of that day, and do something that felt good. in order for that high to keep coming to me, i need to keep running, and i need to slow down.